Overweight and Obesity Problems

The Barrier Parents Have Accepting That They Have an Overeating, or Overweight Child or Teen

Nothing can be done to help children and teens with their dysfunctional eating problems until the parents are willing to recognize and accept the fact that their child or teen is overeating, overweight or obese. No matter what the type of eating dysfunction, it needs to trigger a reaction in the parents to make changes in the whole family’s eating and drinking.

Parents Don’t Recognize There Child is Overeating:

63% of parents (higher if the parents are both overweight) fail to recognize their child is overweight or obese despite the child’s obvious physical appearance. Often they perceive their child’s excess weight to be a temporary problem- “baby fat” or a “stage” which they are sure they will “outgrow.”

7 out of 10 overweight adolescents will become overweight adults. If one parent is overweight it rises to 8 out of 10. A great majority of parents do not know how much their child should weigh nor do they know the risks of childhood obesity. Some parents were more concerned with underweight and force their children to eat and “clean up the plate.” The disconnect between the parents perception and the reality of their child’s weight prevents any future solution to the child’s problem, since parents are the most influential factor in laying the foundation for solving childhood eating dysfunction.

A Distorted Picture of a 12 Year Old Girl

An informative way to picture how the parents of obese children see their children is to look at a hypothetical 12 year old girl, with a height of 60 inches. She would have to weigh at least 125 lbs. to have a BMI of 26. (The 95th percentile for 12 year old girls.) A 6 year old boy who is 54 inches tall, and borderline overweight, would have to weigh at least 90 lbs. to have a BMI of 22. (The cut off for overweight at his age.) Yet these children are commonly

thought of as being normal and often “just about right” any more than 80% of their parents.

Should Parents “Protect” Their Child’s Feeling or Change The Eating?

Much has been written about protecting “feelings” of children, preventing damage to self-esteem and the problem of making “big issues” about food. Sitting down at the dinner table is important for children’s social education.

Very young children have the food and portions selected by the parents. Teenagers have to be given room to make their own food choices and portions. It’s the 6 to 12 year old where the parents usually have the greatest difficulty. They need to provide the “right” food selections and present it to the children with the portions already

controlled. The child is free to pick his own selections and eat eat all or less of the that portion.

Restricting foods or pushing children to finish their meals only serves to make the child uncomfortable and at the same time interferes with the learning process.

Taking Charge of the Child and Family’s Eating Does Not Lead to Adult Binge Eating or Bulimia

The ideas that you will make a child bulimic, induce binge eating or anorexia if you talk too much about food is simply not true. With less than 5% of children becoming bulimic in their lifetime and more than 34% grossly overweight, the odds are that the complications from obesity will far outweigh the problems of bulimia. (Incidentally, bulimia is almost universally confined to females) Only a very small number of teenagers develop eating disorders despite the societal pressures for thinness.

Which children are at risk for developing binge eating and bulimia as adults?

Children and teens at risk for eating disorders usually have a history of depression or anxiety and very disturbed relationship with their parents and usually a history of psychiatric problems in their parents. They can be spotted ahead of time.

Making large issues about food, restricting food, or singling out one child in the family for “special foods” is just as destructive as not even facing the problem. With 1/.3 of children overweight or obese, the parents need to take charge and make some changes. Breaking down the barrier to accepting the problem is always the first step.